Are you present?

As a person who loves the English language and all of the intricacies and nuances that it contains, I am fascinated by the ability to change a few words and letters around to create an entirely different meaning of a phrase. This struck me pretty hard this past week when I was feeling the overwhelming weight of a few tasks that I was getting behind on as well as the feeling that I was coming down with a cold. It was at this point that I heard the voices of my parents in my head. Growing up, they continuously reminded me that anything worth doing is going to to take time and effort and that if I wanted something badly enough, I couldn't solely rely on talent, but rather, I was going to have to put the work in to achieve it because nothing is just handed to you on a silver platter. They told me that I was going to have to be "dialed in" and focused on the end goal. This infuriated me because, as a kid, I just wanted to take the path of least resistance and just "dial it in" without having to put in much effort. As an adult, however, I have realized the sage advice of my parents and I now pay it forward to my own children.

I've taken the CliftonStrengths Assessment (formerly the Gallup StrenthsFinder) on multiple occasions and the one theme that has consistently been in my Top 5 for the past 20+ years has been Achiever. Your CliftonStrengths themes are your talent DNA and they explain the ways you most naturally think, feel, and behave. According to Gallup, the Achiever theme is defined as the following:

• Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for attainment. You feel as if each day starts at zero. By the day's end you must achieve something tangible to feel good about yourself. And by "every day" you mean every single day -- workdays, weekends, and vacations.
• No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more.
• After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you.
• As an Achiever, you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks and challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving.

To be perfectly honest, being an Achiever is exhausting and addictive. I am not wired to "dial it in" and thus, have to spend my life "dialed in" even if I don't really want to. There have been multiple times in my adult life where my heart really wasn't in to something, but because it needed to be done, I focused in on it and put forth the effort to accomplish the task in a manner that I can feel proud of. Unfortunately, because of this, I haven't established very good boundaries and have become a workaholic who has missed out on some experiences that I will never get back. I do not write this to earn a badge of honor or garner sympathy, I write this because the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I write this because this is the weight I carry and I know that others do as well. The good news is that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

We DO NOT need to be "dialed in" ALL of the time. Conversely, we should not "dial it in" just to cross something off of our list. Instead, I think the better question to ask ourselves is "Are we present in the moment?" Are we accepting the reality of the moment we are living in right now and making a conscious effort to just BE there whether it be joy, grief, frustration, or any other emotion that we are dealing with? There is no need to dial in or dial it in, but instead, be present and accept the now. 

However "Zen-like" you think this may sound, I would challenge you to try it. Let the voices in your head be silenced and don't let the whispers of the past tell you how you should respond. Be present!

#OwnYourEpic