Positive Self Talk

I had a colleague once that I would golf with on a regular basis and every now and again he would say to me on the tee box, "How's that TED Talk in your head going?" Keep in mind, this was usually something he would say when I was playing very poorly and trying to get me fired up to play even more poorly. It's pretty cruel, but that's just what golfing friends do. The reality was, he wasn't wrong. Internally, I was trying to coach myself through the round because I was sure that if I gave myself a TED Talk, it would somehow miraculously inspire me into playing better golf. It almost never worked, but it certainly did teach me about positive self talk.

Sometimes I catch myself having inner dialogue that is less than positive. This usually happens when things are going the way that I planned or if I messed up. This inner dialogue is far from a TED Talk because it is usually self-deprecating and highly critical. While some people may enjoy hearing this type of TED Talk being given about someone else, it is definitely not helpful if it is coming from you and is about you. There are already enough people in the world that wouldn't mind tearing you down or taking you down a few rungs on the ladder, you don't need to add yourself to the crowd.

The problem that many of face, however, is that when we practice positive self talk, we sometimes give the impression to others that we are trying to let ourselves off the hook and not take responsibility. This couldn't be further from the truth. The reality is that positive self talk is valuable because it is comforting knowing that you have someone in your corner pulling for you. Why not make sure that the first person in line doing this is yourself? For all intents and purposes, you might be the ONLY one in your corner, so having an inner voice in your head providing you positive encouragement can help drown out the negativity around you.

Positive self talk isn't necessarily about inflating your ego. It is the art of being real with yourself, but at the same time, being kind to yourself. No amount of name calling or degrading yourself is going to change the situation that you are in. In fact, that type of talk will only make it worse. Accept the fact that you are not perfect and that while you will make mistakes, those mistakes don't define you. They make you stronger and your own epic more relatable and compelling. No one really learns anything new if things always go right. It's the water color mess that is left over where the magic lies, so get in there and get your hands dirty. Along the way, make sure you find the right TED Talk in your head to get you through the process.

#OwnYourEpic #Embrace