Without going into all the sordid details, I recently engaged in a conversation that really frustrated me. Nothing bothers me more than asking pretty direct questions only to receive an excuse for an answer. I was raised to be honest and admit when I am wrong. I was told that it was better to own your responsibility and face the consequences whatever they may be with humility and grace. It really grinds my gears when I get a non-answer to a question that I am asking. It tells me that you really aren't listening and are trying to cover your own faults for fear of being made to look like a fool. We all know what a non-answer is and have been on the receiving end of one. It is a response to a question that doesn't really address the question that was asked and is a way to pivot from an uncomfortable situation. It is an escape mechanism that people think gives them an easy way out and the ability to dodge a conversation they don't want to have. In reality, however, non-answers actually harm relationships. Because of this, I try to avoid the non-answer at all costs.
Solid relationships and culture are built on a foundation of respect and open lines of communication. We aren't always going to agree and we have to find ways to accept the fact that we sometimes are going to get information that we won't want to hear. If we truly respect and honor the people that work with and care about, we can give people answers that are not popular and that we know they are going to disagree with in a manner that is kind and respectful. If we get a non-answer, we can pretty much guarantee that the person really doesn't want to engage with you on a deeper level and really isn't interested in the relationship. Some will argue that this is making a big assumption on the behalf of the person delivering the non-answer, but I would argue back that if it was a good relationship in the first place, having an uncomfortable conversation giving an answer that is not going to be palatable to the receiving party actually does more good than bad because there is at least enough trust that the relationship can survive the hiccup.
No one likes to dance around an issue. They want to be treated like they are honored and respected. This happens by being honest and straightforward, even if it is going to strain the relationship. Brendon Burchard once stated, "Avoidance is the best short-term strategy to escape conflict, and the best long-term strategy to ensure suffering." No truer words have been spoken because it is certainly better to deliver the bitter pill rather than kicking the can down the road. Issues tend to get bigger and more complicated through avoidance. Make a commitment to avoid the non-answer and just address the issue head on.
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