Silence

This summer was pretty outstanding. While there were no big trips and nothing overly exciting happened, it was the first time that I actually used my vacation days and I took a prolonged break from all social media platforms. There was something really gratifying about actually taking time for myself and not feeling the need to post anything or to see what people were up to. It was just really cool being able to cut ties and not have my face buried in my phone constantly. It was a choice I made and I feel like I am better because of it. Now, the question is whether or not I can continue this trend moving forward and take advantage of the moments of silence that I get to create by actually putting my needs first.

As I right this, I feel a little selfish by actually putting it in writing that I need to put my needs first, but I'm a big believer in the fact that in order to own something, you need to put it in writing because it makes it real. #OwnYourEpic is about taking control of your voice and your story and amplifying it so that others can learn from you. Sometimes, this requires that you break away from always serving others and taking a moment to serve yourself. It's not selfish, it's taking care of yourself so you don't burn out. You really can't lead others and fill up their buckets if you are running on empty and have nothing to give. The problem is, many of us refuse to recognize the warning signs that lead up to this point until it's too late. I am a cautionary tale of how destructive this can be because I was trying to squeeze out one extra mile on my tank even though the fuel indicator had been blinking for quite some time. I finally ran out of gas and was stranded in the middle of nowhere trying to figure out what to do next. The answer came in the form of silence and it recharged in a way that I couldn't have imagined. I'm feeling refreshed and rejuvenated like I haven't felt before and I am kicking myself for not seeking this silence years ago. 

I'm an achiever by nature. I work hard and have to feel some level of accomplishment before I will actually quit doing something. I can't tell you what that level of accomplishment will be because it is something that I just have to feel. What this has meant over the past 25 years is that I never really took a break. I have been pushing and pushing, but like Sisyphus, that rock was never going to get to the top no matter how much I tried. What I have finally realized is that although it is okay to keep pushing, you need to take advantage of the plateaus that present themselves along the way and take a break. Some people reading this might think this is obvious, but for folks wired like me, it is not. We have to come to the realization ourselves and actually see that it can be done and that it works.

 Well, it finally happened for me and I want to celebrate. It wasn't easy and there was definitely some fear of missing out (FOMO). I survived though and the silence that it allowed me to feel was the best medicine I could take. I'm in a better place as a person and feel like my bucket is now full