Say What You Mean

 

Recently, I have had to read between the lines with some communication that has been delivered to me. If you are unfamiliar with this practice, it is when you have to look for or discover a meaning that is hidden or implied rather than explicitly stated. In some cases, it is a valuable skill to have, but other times, it is exhausting trying to figure out what people are really wanting to communicate when they could actually just say what they mean without requiring the intended audience to decipher the real meaning. I'm not exactly sure where and why this practice was developed, but I have a feeling it was put into practice because someone didn't want to overtly communicate something because they knew they shouldn't share the information or because they wanted to try to protect themselves for plausible deniability later. Whatever the reason, wouldn't it be better to just say what you mean and mean what you say?

Communicating effectively is the foundation to a thriving organization. Being transparent, concise, and honest with our interactions with others is what separates the good from the exceptional. It doesn't mean that everyone is perfect, but it does mean that a culture has been established where people feel comfortable communicating how they feel without fear of retribution and because they know they will be heard and listened to. When you encounter an organization that requires you to read between the lines on a regular basis, there should be sirens going off in your head that something is wrong because it means that people are afraid of communicating what they really want to communicate. If this is the case, there is a cultural problem that needs to be addressed.

I feel that I am an honest and kind person who says what I need to say when it needs to be said. I have the ability to have difficult conversations without pulling punches, being vindictive, or making people feel bad about themselves. It has taken a lot of practice over the years, but the biggest growth I have seen in myself is when I stopped having people read between the lines of my communication. I have learned to say what I mean and mean what I say in a way that is intentional and not meant to hurt others or demean them. Am I always successful with this? The answer is no. I'm still a work in progress and will continue to improve my communication with each opportunity I have.

You can be a kind person and have difficult conversations with people. I have learned that it is a mistake to view kindness as a weakness. The two are not synonymous with each other and when people realize this, they will have a newfound appreciation for communicating with others the issues that are impacting an organizational culture. You can have difficult conversations and be kind at the same time, but you have to go in with that intent. If you are attempting to win the conversation from the outset by any means necessary, you have lost before you have started and is probably one of the reasons why there is a culture of reading between the lines in your organization. When the entire organization realizes that communication is meant to improve and not to hurt, that is when you will see a change in your culture. So say what you mean and mean what you say, but be kind in the process.

#OwnYourEpic #Connect