I was recently speaking with someone about leadership and the experiences, both positive and negative, that I have seen in my career. During the conversation, there seemed to be a fixation on things that happened in the past that were less than stellar examples of good leadership on my part. At first, I was a little peeved that we were only talking about the negative aspects, however, as we continued our conversation, I began to process how much growth I have experienced in my leadership journey and what I still need to work on moving forward. Ultimately, what I concluded from the conversation was that while the past is sometimes uncomfortable to talk about, I don't want to erase it because it has helped me develop into the leader I am today.
Reflection is a funny thing. We spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about things that went wrong and glossing over the things that went right. We do this because we want to learn from the past so we don't repeat uncomfortable moments in the future. I've never been a fan of the expression that we should "forget about it because it is in the past" because that totally discounts the opportunity to learn and grow from those not so great moments that shape us into better people. While we can't fix what happened in the past, we can certainly do things differently in the future to increase the potential for success. In other words, there isn't an eraser that can magically make things disappear, so quit wasting time trying to make the past go away and spend that energy on making the present and the future something you can be proud of.
I've made some mistakes in my past that I am not proud of. I've made some decisions that proved to be wrong. I've held onto grudges based on past events because I felt that I was wronged. I own these faults and continue to reflect on them today because they are learning experiences for me. If others choose to focus on them and define me as a person based on my shortcomings, that is their issue and not mine. I can't fix their perspective, but I can certainly demonstrate to them that I have changed over time because I have learned and grown. At the end of the day, however, my past is what it is, but my present and future are what I will make of it.
#OwnYourEpic #Connect
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