Lost and Found

Growing up, my parents bought a 100 year old house that served as an apartment building and converted it into a single family dwelling. It was over 6000 square feet, was 3 stories not including the basement, and the dormers in the attic were as big as some modern day master bedrooms. If that wasn't big enough, my dad decided to add on an addition that he built himself. He and my mom spent years fixing up that house and I have such fond memories of living there. One of my favorite memories was when my dad's side of the family (6 brothers and 4 sisters) would bring their families over for Christmas Eve. It was an annual event that brought the house to life with thunderous laughter and people everywhere. While the adults played cards, the kids would be running all over the house playing hide and seek and because I lived in the house, I knew all the really great hiding spots and felt I was the king of the game. I would find a hiding spot and because the house was so big, it sometimes took my cousins an hour to find me. It wasn't until adulthood that I realized that maybe I wasn't as good as I thought I was at hiding. Maybe it was because no one was looking for me. It's a harsh reality to come to grips with, but nonetheless, it is a memory that sticks with me.  

My childhood home recently came up for sale and I was able to look at pictures online and reminisce about all the good times I had in that house growing up. I remembered the times that my parents asked me to get something from their bedroom on the second floor after it was dark outside. I would run as fast as I could to retrieve the item because the house was so dark and I was afraid that ghosts would get me. I remembered the time that I learned to ride my bike on Clay Street. My sisters had Schwinn bikes and when they left them alone for a second, I took one and taught myself how to ride. I remembered that the heat in the attic was unbearable during the summer, but that was where my toys were and I would spend hours playing with Legos in that hot box without a care in the world. There are countless other memories from that home that rushed through my mind as I looked at the photos on line. These were memories that up until that moment, I thought I had lost, but found them just by looking at one picture.

That's the crazy thing about the lost and found. If we stop for a few seconds and rummage through the items, we may find a lot of stories or memories from within its contents. The single glove may remind us of a time we went sledding, a hat may remind us of a time we spent a day at the ballpark with our dad, a pair of glasses may bring back memories of the time we broke ours playing in the backyard. The truth of the matter is that the lost and found is actually a misnomer because if we really think about it, nothing is ever truly lost. Things may be taken or stolen from us, but they aren't lost. Memories, good or bad, will always be there, so is it accurate to say they are lost? In my opinion, the simple answer is no.

As we continue to find our way out of this pandemic, there is an overwhelming focus on loss (learning loss, loss of normalcy, loss of traditions, etc.). By comparison, there hasn't been much conversation about what we found along the way. We have found that grit and perseverance are skills we cannot live without, we have found that we can do hard things and do them very well, and we have found that we are stronger when we work together towards a common goal. I am not a deficit thinker, so I choose to spend my time focusing on what has been found rather than what has been lost. To be honest, it has been really hard at times, but in those moments, I remind myself that I'll only be lost if I throw up my hands and play the victim. I am continually reminding myself that I am on an unknown path right now that will lead me somewhere, but I am certainly not lost because my internal compass is leading me forward and I am finding people along the way who are on the same journey and we are walking the path together. Someday, years from now, I will be able to look back at this moment in time and I will be reminded of it just like I was reminded of my childhood home and the games of hide and seek I played with my cousins around the holidays. When I do this, I know that I won't look at this time through a sense of loss, but instead, as a time of discovery and challenge. After all, I'm not losing anything right now. I am finding new ways of doing things, I am finding solutions to problems, I am finding that a new road that will lead me to somewhere awesome.

#OwnYourEpic #FORGE