Handle With Care

 

I was fortunate enough to get my 2nd dose of the COVID vaccination a couple of weeks ago. When I entered the pharmacy, I waited in a socially distanced line for a short time before it was my turn. As I sat down, the nurse administering the shot began to tell me about all of the side effects that may come from this particular dose and then she injected it in my arm. I am not afraid of needles and to be quite honest, I typically watch as the needle goes in my arm. On this particular occasion, however, I didn't look and I felt quite a bit of pain when the needle went in. I looked at the nurse and she asked me if it hurt. I responded yes and she looked me dead in the eye and said, "Your skin would not let the needle in." I was in a room with a bunch of other people who were waiting and they heard what she said and had a look of horror on their faces since they were going to get their shot. In typical fashion, I felt as if I needed to bring some levity to the situation, so I remarked that COVID had hardened me to the point that my body wasn't going to let any outside foreign objects penetrate my skin. She laughed, the people in line smirked, and I went to sit in a chair for 15 minutes and reflect on what the hell just happened.

As a school leader, you learn very quickly that you need to have some pretty thick skin. People are going to say things about you behind your back, to your face, and on social media that are really going to hurt. When I became an administrator, I became acutely aware that this was an everyday occurrence and I would torment myself by agonizing over every little detail and wondering what I was doing wrong for these things to be said. This led to a lot of stress, a lot of added body weight, lack of sleep, and some pretty significant self-esteem issues. I didn't take the time to discern what was actually an issue that I needed to reflect upon versus what was just noise. Over time, however, I learned to do this because the weight of this baggage became too much of a load to carry and my survival instincts kicked into gear. I learned the difference between constructive criticism and just plain criticism. One is meant to help and the other is meant to harm. Being able to tell the difference is sometimes difficult because constructive criticism is sometimes disguised by the manner in which it is delivered and it is hard to not take it personally. This is where the ability to discern really needs to kick into gear.

When I told the nurse who gave me my vaccination shot that COVID had hardened me, I was only half joking. I have noticed over the past year that my tolerance level for some things has gone way down. I have developed a callous in some respects to the insults and comments that have been flung my way in order to survive. Additionally, I have also shielded the people I lead from some pretty significant and pointed criticism because it is my job to support them and make sure the school environment is such that they can do their job to the best of their abilities. They are on the front lines doing the work with kids and they don't need the noise from the peanut gallery to infiltrate the important work they are doing on a daily basis. I am not complaining because this is the job I wanted and I feel that I am pretty good at it. Keeping this in mind, I recognize that teachers, students, and families are fragile and need to be handled with care. 

This pandemic has been tough on everyone and I look forward to the day that I am not writing blogs about it at all. Unfortunately, however, the trauma that COVID has caused will be around for a long time and we must be prepared to address the issues as they become known. We need to look to the future with clear eyes, an open heart, and thick skin because there will be no vaccine for the criticism that schools will inevitably face from critics who think public schools are failing and that we aren't doing our jobs. We know better because we are doing the work, but in the process, we need to handle each other with care because we are all doing the work together.

#Onward #FORGE