The Value of Grace

This time of year, I love watching my favorite Christmas movies. I am extra vigilant in not watching these movies until after Thanksgiving, because after all, you need to make sure that one holiday is over until you begin the next. I have a bevy of favorites including, but not limited to, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, The Santa Clause, Miracle on 34th Street, Die Hard (YES, it is absolutely a Christmas movie), Elf, Scrooged, It's a Wonderful Life, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, White Christmas, Holiday Inn, Love Actually, and the list goes on and on. As you can see, I feel I am an aficionado when it comes to Christmas movies and it doesn't matter how many times I have seen them, they always make the season come alive for me. While I watch these films, I am continually reminded of the importance of family and friends and that regardless of how difficult times might be, there can be a silver lining.

The other night, I was watching Christmas Vacation for what seemed like the millionth time. At this time of year, you can always find it playing on some television station, but I prefer my own DVD copy that is probably due for an upgrade. One of my favorite scenes in the movie is when the Griswold clan is sitting around the table and Aunt Bethany is asked to say grace. What unfolds is comedic and cinematic mastery and no matter how many times you see it, you can't help but recite the lines yourself.

As is the case with so many other things, I typically over analyze things and begin to make connections to the work that I do. On this particular evening, I began to think about the notion of grace and its role in schools. In the movie, Aunt Bethany has a difficult time hearing and people begin shouting at her what they would like her to do. Uncle Lewis takes it a step further and points to his mouth and says, "the blessing" really slowly in the hopes that Bethany can get it figured out what they are asking her to do. While the family is animated and loud, they do give Aunt Bethany a chance to figure it out and in the process, give her some grace to say grace due to her hearing problem.

My mind then raced about how many times I haven't shown grace to others when it takes them longer to do something than I would think it should. I thought about how many times I have grown impatient with others because they didn't do things according to the time frame that they have given and how frustrated I became because things didn't get done. I then began thinking that if I feel this way about working primarily with adults, what do the kids in our schools feel like? I then began to process the reality that sometimes, as adults in schools, we don't afford our students the same amount of grace that we expect to receive ourselves. It was at this point, that I needed to stop watching the movie and begin writing this blog.

Grace is not something that should be given out sometimes, but rather, should be a part of the very fiber of our being. As educators, we are in the business of developing young people into positive and productive citizens that will go out into the world and make it a better place. If we don't model grace, we can't expect our children to understand it or demonstrate it. Additionally, if we don't give them opportunities to fall and then help them back up, how can we expect them to do the same when they become adults and have children of their own. To give grace unconditionally, is to understand that people are fallible and that in spite of their mistakes, poor decisions, and failure to meet expectations, you will accept them for who they are and what they can become.

As we approach the new year, make a resolution to offer grace to your students and colleagues. Prepare yourself for people to fall short of expectations and give them grace anyway. Put yourself in their shoes and give them the grace that you would expect yourself. What will happen is that you will find that people won't take advantage of you, but rather, will begin modeling grace themselves because you have shown it to be a priority in your own life. I know it sounds a little cliche, but if you want to make the world a better place, start with giving people more grace instead of giving them a piece of your mind.

#Onward