Own It
Passing the buck is easy to do. Not taking ownership of your failures helps minimize the blow to your psyche and makes a bitter pill a little easier to swallow. If you don't own a failure, you don't have to internalize it and grow from it. Instead, you just have to acknowledge that it happened, but it was someone else's fault. Most people fear failing because it is evidence that they are not perfect and that they have faults. Owning a failure demonstrates that you are willing to grow from it so it doesn't happen again. I always find it interesting when a parent immediately goes after a teacher when their child fails and states that it is the teacher's fault. Let's model appropriate behavior for our students and help them learn from their mistakes by owning their failure. It's what we need to do as adults.
Communicate It
There is a lot of power in the statement, "I screwed up and failed." There is even more power in saying it out loud to other people. It demonstrates that you are human and fallible. Additionally, it makes you more accountable in the future. For example, I failed miserably in my first and second years as a principal. I didn't listen very well. I finally realized that I needed the people that I worked with to know that I recognized I was not doing well, so in a faculty meeting, I admitted to them that I failed them. By doing so, I owned it, communicated it, and now am being held accountable for it. It was a very empowering for me and has caused me to grow and change. I am well on my way, but far from perfect.
Don't Try to Avoid It
Have you ever tried to pre-plan something so much so that you have all of your bases covered, only to find out that you missed something? You can spend a lot of time trying to make things perfect or you can just dive in head first knowing that you are certainly going to miss something. At least with the latter, you recognize going in that you are going to fail in some respect and prepare yourself early on for having to make adjustments. I call this the Anticipation of Failure Effect. For someone like me who is OCD and prides myself on strategic thinking, this has been difficult for me and I am still learning it. What it has done for me is help me understand that it is okay to fail as long as I have done my due diligence in minimizing the failure. It doesn't make the failure pill any easier to swallow, but at least I have prepared myself mentally for it. The good news is that if it turns out to not be a bust, I end up looking like a genius.
Failure Is An Option
EVERYONE deserves to fail and EVERYONE deserves a chance to learn from their failures. Some of the greatest innovations of all time were preceded by epic failures. Not allowing people to learn from their failures is just plain wrong. Expecting perfection from the get-go is inconceivable and I challenge anyone who disagrees to a battle of wits.
So that begs the question, What have you learned from your failures? What am I missing from my list. I would love to hear what you have to say.
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