It's 3 am and I am writing this blog. My school was coming off a snow day and a decision hadn't been made yet on whether or not school would called off for another day or if we would have a late start. I woke up and was really restless about a myriad of things that I needed to get done at work. I have this checklist of items in my head that I needed to follow through on so we could be ready to go for school and I couldn't figure out how I was going to get them all accomplished in the time that I had. After an hour of tossing, turning, and trying to get back to sleep, I finally just got out of bed in an act of desperation to get on my computer and begin knocking some things out. The problem is, I am suffering from a checklist mentality and recognized that I needed to write a blog instead of following through on my growing to-do list.
I've written before about focusing on what you want to be before what you have to do and occasionally, I forget to follow my own advice and practice what I preach. I don't have all the answers and I write a lot about the "ideal" situation even though I fall woefully short of the "ideal." I am, however, mindful of the fact that when I get in a rut, I need to fall back on what I know works and actually do it rather than write about it. In the case of the checklist mentality, that is easier said than done.
We all keep some sort of list of things we have to get done. Some write it down, some put it in their phone, and some (like me) just keep it all in their head. We use these lists as a guide and a way to determine how much we have accomplished in a given period of time. In some instances, we become beholden to the checklist and we base our success as a person based on how many boxes we can check off. It is in these moments that we need to stop and reassess the situation because we are not defined by our checklist accomplishments. Instead, we need to take a step back and figure out if we are actually being who we want to be or if we are being driven by what we have to do. There is a very big difference because in one situation, you are taking control, while in the other, you are being controlled.
So, here I am at 3 am doing a hard reset. My checklist can wait and I will find the time to get things done. I'm responsible enough to meet the deadlines that I have, but I am not going to continue to let the checklist mentality control me and my well-being. Instead, I am going to choose to focus on what I want to BE before what I have to DO. In this moment, I want to BE sleeping and wake up well rested and I'm going to take my own advice. I'm going to bed.
#OwnYourEpic #Embrace
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