Non-Negotiable

 

Growing up, I always knew where I stood with my parents. They both were master teachers and utilized the same classroom management strategies they employed in the classroom at home with their own children. Whether they explicitly told me what their expectations were or if I implied what their expectations were based on observations, I knew exactly what was negotiable and what was out of bounds. Like most kids, I tested boundaries quite a bit, but in the process, I learned what I could get away with and what behaviors I was going to receive consequences for. That had, in effect, drawn a line in the sand of what was acceptable and what was not. Like most kids, I spent a great deal of time walking that line and occasionally stepping over it to see what I could get away with. My parents understood that they would get what they tolerate, so they were constantly in teaching mode and establishing their non-negotiable.

The difficulty being a teacher is that the students in your classroom are not your own kids. While we care for them as if they were our own, we are not their parents and we don't necessarily share the same background or experiences with them. We have to walk a fine line between caring enough to lay out our expectations and hold our students accountable, but at the same time, knowing when to turn issues over to parents so they can do their job. We run into a great deal of trouble when we try to usurp our role and move outside of our boundaries which gives parents the impression that we know better. This leads to tension, animosity, and resentment that can destroy a relationship between the school and home. Additionally, the actions of one teacher can poison the well for all the other teachers in the building and create a cycle where the parent doesn't trust the school as a whole. That is why it is incumbent for teachers to clearly establish their non-negotiables and clearly communicate them with families from the outset.

I once heard the expression that "if everything is a big deal, nothing is a big deal" and it rings true for establishing non-negotiables in the classroom. For teachers, the process of establishing these non-negotiables can be an exercise in futility because it is extremely difficult to lay out a concise list of expectations without making everything a big deal. We have to do an audit of what our expectations are and determine what is non-negotiable and what can be negotiated. We have to take into consideration family dynamics and individual student circumstances and determine if we are going to be able to be consistent across the board, regardless of circumstances that may arise. When we view non-negotiables in this context, we will discover that our lists are going to be pretty small.

The COVID-19 pandemic has given us all an opportunity to really do a deep dive into what we are going to tolerate as educators and also where there may be some wiggle room. In my own experience, I have witnessed teachers grapple with previous non-negotiables they have had like accepting late work, making up tests, and grading because the circumstances of the pandemic have forced them into a corner where they are now required to modify and adjust their previous practices to fit the situation. Some have held firm in their approach while others have determined that they needed to adjust because their non-negotiables are too rigid. As a principal, my role is to foster dialogue with teachers about these issues, challenge them through reflective questioning, and support them in the process even if it goes against my own personal feelings. At other times, I need to be more direct and state my own non-negotiables because circumstances that impact the entire school need to be consistent and fall into my decision making domain. If I'm being truly honest and vulnerable, I know that I have made teachers uncomfortable with the conversations and upset with decisions I have made, but my role also calls for me to lead teachers out of their comfort zones so they can grow even more. It is sometimes a daunting task because if something has been working for a teacher for a long time and they are seeing success, they question why we are trying to fix something that isn't broken in the first place. It's an excellent question that I can only respond to by stating that just because something has been done a certain way for a long time doesn't mean that it can't be improved. I can see how this may be exhausting and frustrating for the teachers I am charged to lead, but it comes from a place of love and a desire to see them grow. I am positive that I can improve my communication and better demonstrate that I love and support the people that I lead and will #FORGE ahead in my own growth process and strive for continuous improvement. Keeping all of this in mind, I will still walk right up to that proverbial line in the sand and test the waters because that's where the magic happens I find out what is negotiable and what is non-negotiable.

I am sure that my parents would be so proud.

#ONWARD #FORGE