How to Give When You Have Nothing Left to Give

 

Let's cut right to the chase. How is it possible to give when you have nothing left to give? When you are running on empty and the walls seem to be closing in on you, it's really hard to conceptualize how to be giving when you are really just focusing on your own survival. In the time of COVID, this feeling is magnified because you feel like you are giving and giving and giving, but you are at your wits end. In fact, many of us find ourselves in a powder keg that is about to explode and if we don't find some sort of release, things are going to get real messy in a hurry. Therein lies the answer. The release point is within YOU and not some external force that you have to wait for.

As I was taking one of my walks this past week and trying to figure out what I would write about in my weekly blog, I kept coming back to this notion of giving. I've written before in a blog called Overflow on the Reg, about how the human overflow valve is one that measures our stress, anxiety, anger, and frustration and how the valve is erratic and kicks in more often because it has a lower threshold of pressure before it opens up. When it does open up, the release is rarely small, but rather, it's like a flood gate being lifted. I don't know about you, but I feel like the dam is about to break unless something happens NOW. It then hit me like a ton of bricks. 

The answer lies with each of us making a conscious and intentional decision to give something to ourselves in order to serve others. While on the surface, it may sound pretty selfish to give yourself a gift instead of bestowing it on someone else, if you dig a little deeper, you will realize that the gift you are giving to yourself is actually helping not only you, but others around you. This may seem a little abstract, so let me provide you an example. 

Since the pandemic started, I have gotten into the routine of going for a walk almost every day. Sometimes they are short (30 minutes) but most of the time, they are quite longer. During this time, I put my Google Buds in and I choose music that I feel is going to help me take my mind off the "stuff" that I have going on in my head. As I walk, I talk to myself and say all the things I want to say without any filter. The gifts I am giving myself are exercise and self talk to work out whatever issues I might be going through and whatever feelings I might be having. The gift I am giving to others is not burdening them with my venting and unloading my problems off of them. Anecdotally, I would say that this works out for me about 90% of the time. For the other 10%, I have trusted people in my life that I can go to for support. By giving myself this gift, I can continue to serve others even though I may not feel like I have any more to give. This isn't a perfect science, but if you have tried everything else except this, what do you have to lose?

Ultimately, you have to make a decision. You can't serve or lead others if you are running on empty, so what are you going to give yourself so you in turn can give to others? You can start by giving yourself some grace, but it extends way beyond that. Lean into the fact that when you are running on empty, something has to give, so it might as well be you giving to yourself.

#ONWARD