One Foot In Front Of The Other

Being an adult is hard work (#adultingishard). As you were growing up, you had multiple adults modeling behaviors to help you figure out what being an adult is all about. Sometimes the modeling was good and sometimes it was bad, but ultimately you are left sorting through all of the examples set for you and left to your own devices to determine how you were going to make that transition to adult life. You can repeat what you have seen or you can forge a new path and try something different. The great thing is that you get to make the choice.

I grew up in family where both of my parents were teachers. They gave every ounce of energy to their jobs and the kids that were in their classrooms on a daily basis. As a young man, I often felt that my parents spent more time tending to the needs of their students than they did with myself and my sisters. This meant that when they got home, there really wasn't time for us because they had work to do to ensure that other people's kids got the very best of them on a daily basis. This IS NOT a knock on my parents at all. They are amazing people and they worked very hard to make sure that everyone they encountered, including myself and my siblings, had an opportunity to grow up and be the best versions of themselves. They modeled to me on a continuous basis the selfless act of putting the needs of others in front of your own. Additionally, they taught me the value of learning to be independent at a young age and to keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter what obstacles got in the way.

Many people have examples like this in their own lives that they draw on from time to time when things get rough. Now, more than ever, however, the notion of putting one foot in front of the other is what is giving me the strength to live and work through this pandemic. I am hoping that the example I provide will help my own children as they grow into adults and that they can look back years from now and find some inspiration to help them navigate the path of adulthood that they find themselves on. Here is what I have come up with so far.

DITCH THE PERFECTION MENTALITY

I have been around educators my entire life and one of the overarching, defining qualities that the vast majority of them have is the inner drive to be the best they can possibly be at all times. When they fall short, they beat themselves up because they know they can and want to do better. On top of that, anxiety and guild over this is piled on by others who let them know that they fell short as if they didn't know it already. This creates a sense in many educators that they CANNOT fail, which is completely ludicrous. The reality is that no one is perfect and trying to attain perfection is impossible. Throw in a pandemic on top of these feelings and educators start losing their minds. I've written before about the value of grace, but what I have discovered is that most educators won't start with themselves when it comes to concept. We need to collectively understand that doing our best is all that we can ask for, nothing more and nothing less.

THE DETOUR IS PART OF THE JOURNEY

Have you ever gone on a trip and then had to modify your route because of road construction? It is terribly frustrating because it slows you down and sometimes takes you so far out of the way of the original route that you wonder what the heck is going on. When these things happen, you typically don't just call off the trip altogether. Instead, in the spirit of putting one foot in front of the other, you continue on your way and may end up seeing some things you didn't plan on. The point is, the detour we are on right now is now part of the journey. We don't know when we are going to get back on track, so the best thing we can do for ourselves and others, is to embrace the detour as part of our journey and realize that we will get back on track eventually.

RUNNING ON EMPTY ISN'T A BADGE OF HONOR

When the fuel light comes on, it isn't a sign to push the pedal to the metal and try to go another 50 miles. It's a cue to STOP, take a break, fuel up, and then continue. Don't ignore the sign or you will end up on the side of the road seeking assistance from someone else and wondering why you didn't take care of the issue when you had the chance. Running yourself into the ground isn't a sign of strength or courage. Instead, it's reckless and selfish. People count on you to show up, but you can't be there for them if you are continually draining yourself. Be mindful of your mental health and your needs because you can't help others if you aren't willing to help yourself first.

OWN IT

I have always been the type of person who won't ask others to do something that I wouldn't be willing to do myself. In the simplest terms, I feel that I need to "Own It." By taking ownership, people have a vested interest in an outcome and rather than letting something happen to them. Instead of playing a victim, find out how you can own different parts of things that impact you and change it. You have more power than you give yourself credit for and you typically give more of it away than you probably should. Own what belongs to you and do something with it that will lead to a positive outcome.

#ONWARD