The Need for Vulnerability

THE REAL CRISIS
We hear it a lot that there is a crisis in education. This "crisis" is typically referring to low student test scores, the teacher shortage, failing schools, etc. etc. etc. While these are problems that need to be addressed by many schools, the real crisis that is facing our schools is within the walls of our own buildings and must first be addressed by the adults (teachers, admin, support staff). It is a crisis that can be solved if each and every one of us is willing to do our part to fix it. That "part" that we must all contribute to is being vulnerable and open to the fact that we don't always have the answer and that the solution isn't always as easy as one might think it should be. When we open our eyes and hearts to this way of thinking, our school cultures improve, our relationships are strengthened, and everyone sees that we are all in the same boat rowing together in the same direction.

Being vulnerable takes practice and requires that there is a shared mindset that every adult in the school is working their hardest at creating a culture where people want to come to work. Vulnerability must be modeled on a continuous and ongoing basis as well and starts at the top. Leaders must demonstrate it if they hope to have their staff show it as well. Unfortunately, there are far too many examples of leaders not displaying this and the impact resonates throughout the entire system and creates an emotional wake of fear, anger, and mistrust. In spite of this, this is when vulnerability is most needed.

In education, we learn very early on that the ability to compartmentalize is a necessary skill in order to educate children effectively. When we are having a personal issue, we must compartmentalize it so it doesn't have a negative impact on the lessons we must teach. When we are having a difficult time with a specific student, we must compartmentalize the issue so that it doesn't become a prevailing condemnation for all students we encounter. When we encounter a parent who is not too happy with us, we must compartmentalize so that we can go on engaging with other parents. While the ability to compartmentalize is a valuable skill that we must all have, it also has the potential to stave off the ability to be vulnerable. Now is the time, however, to break down the walls of compartmentalization and expose my vulnerabilities in the hopes that I can model and lead others into doing the same.

THE TEACHER LENS
When I entered education in 2001, all I wanted to do was teach. I made comments about about how middle school teachers weren't preparing students for my classes and how administrators were out of touch with reality when it came to what was going on in the classroom. I honestly felt that administration didn't understand that what they were requiring me to do (e.g. turn in weekly lesson plans, serve on committees, deliver specific lessons, analyze standardized assessment data, etc.) took up way too much time and prevented me from doing what I was hired to do. I had a young family and I was working 60+ hours a week to make it all happen. I felt defeated and that my voice wasn't being heard because things kept being added to my plate and the common response was "go back for seconds or get a bigger plate." My faith in administration was lost and they quickly became the enemy.

THE ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL LENS
When I became an assistant principal, I was hell bent on changing the narrative and doing things differently. I wanted to take things off of the teacher plate and support them in their work. I learned very quickly, however, that the role of an Assistant Principal is implementing the Principal's vision and making sure that compliance tasks were completed. Doing so meant that I had to work harder, so I upped the hours I worked to about 80 hours per week making sure that student discipline was handled and classroom observation feedback was such that it actually help teachers improve their craft. What I found out was that the discipline I administered to students wasn't punitive enough for some teachers, the feedback I provided regarding instructional practices wasn't realistic because I didn't have a background in the specific content area or because it wouldn't work with their students, and that I didn't have any perspective of what it's like in the classroom. I also encountered parents who were less than pleased with specific teachers and rather than speaking to the teacher themselves, shared their displeasure with me because they felt the teacher would retaliate against their child for bringing up concerns.

THE PRINCIPAL LENS - ANTIQUATED VERSION
When I became a Principal, I thought that I was finally going to be able to make a difference because I was now responsible for establishing the vision for the school and I could now have a direct impact on how the school operated so teachers could teach without having their hands tied with administrative tasks that took time away from their instruction, assistant principals could be a part in establishing the vision of the school, I could get to know students on a more personal basis, everyone would have a voice in the decision making process, and I could develop a school culture where everyone wanted to be a part of our school because it was different from any other school. What I found out is that doing all of this required more time than I could give and that boundaries and expectations on my time were non-existent because all of the building's "issues" were mine alone to solve and not addressing them within a certain time frame was seen as not working hard enough and failing to follow through on what I said I was going to do.  

THE PRINCIPAL LENS - VULNERABILITY STEPS IN
The year 2016 was a watershed moment for me. In a calendar year, I had a teacher pass away from a long battle with cancer, dealt with multiple student suicides, and had other students pass away in horrific accidents. I experienced the weight of the world on my shoulders because students, staff, and the community were grieving, and as the leader, I needed to be strong for them. As anyone who has dealt with grief knows, a variety of emotions come out and these emotions can get really ugly. I was personally blamed for the student suicides by some parents, Facebook blew up with a variety of allegations that targeted me directly, and my relationship with my wife and children suffered because I became closed off and numb to any feelings whatsoever. It was in this moment that my faith kicked in and I experienced an awakening. I learned that opening up and showing my vulnerability allowed others to share their pain, frustration, and desire to be better humans. By admitting that I am fallible and don't have all the answers, I exposed the fact that I can't fix everything and that I hurt just as easily as others.

AVERTING THE CRISIS
The overall lesson here is that the "crisis in education" can be averted through vulnerability, but it must start with the educators in the building. In order to do this, we must stop compartmentalizing the roles of teachers, administrators, and support staff and instead focus on the fact that we are all one in the same. WE ARE ALL EDUCATORS! Our roles and responsibilities may be different, but we are all adults who are charged with educating our future generations. When we collectively decide to be vulnerable and show an appreciation for each of the roles we play rather than to denigrate one another for our shortcomings, we can truly build outstanding cultures where everyone thrives. None of us are perfect. If we were, this narrative wouldn't need to be written. The truth is, we are all guilty of falling into this trap and the only solution to fixing it is to call it out, stop pointing fingers, own our part in allowing it to happen by demonstrating vulnerability, and then move forward with a perspective of team work instead of delivering punches to the gut. When we make a decision to finally start doing this, we may begin to see that everyone of us has a tough job, but at least we know that we have others in our corner to defend us.