Take A Stand Against Cyberbullying

My school recently had a school attorney by the name of Karen Haase (@KarenHaase) come and present to the student body on the issue of cyberbullying. It was a very insightful talk that really made our students stop and think about their choices. Additionally, it was a great opportunity for our school to take stock on how we deal with this troubling issue. It is not acceptable for schools to ignore the issue. It is real and it is affecting our students. We need to take a stand and we need the support of students and parents in the process.

PARENTS
Parents are the first line of defense in preventing cyberbullying. It starts with being connected and monitoring your children. Parents MUST be on social media (Twitter, Facebook, SnapChat, etc.). Look at your child's phone and see if you can find icons like these:

If your child has these, you need to be on them as well and need to monitor their use. It may seem like a lot, but your kids need you. If they know that you are monitoring, they are less likely to post things that are inappropriate. Keep in mind that these icons will change pretty regularly depending on what is popular at the moment. The bottom line is that parents need to be aware of which social media platforms their children are using.

Additionally, it is IMPERATIVE that parents model appropriate social media use if they are going to use it themselves. Your children are watching and if you are airing your dirty laundry for the world to see, don't be surprised if your child follows suit. Be the adult and provide parental guidance for your child.

Finally, parents need to understand that a comment made on social media aimed at your child doesn't automatically constitute cyberbullying. Don't be too quick to label it is as such without investigating the entire issue. You might actually find out that your own child has played a part in the issue and that both parties have said some hurtful/demeaning things toward another. Contact your child's administrator at the first sign of this and PARTNER with the school on putting an end to it. School administrators are pretty in tune to what is going on with social media and can help you navigate the waters.

STUDENTS
At my school, we have developed a protocol that has worked pretty well for us thus far. It is called STOP, BLOCK, and TALK. The premise is pretty simple:

1. When someone says something demeaning towards you on social media, politely tell them to STOP and let them know that their statement is hurtful. After posting this message, take a screenshot of the message and keep it. This documents that you have informed the other person that you do not wish to engage in this type of conversation. DO NOT communicate with this person any further on social media.
2. After taking the screen shot, BLOCK the person from your social media account. This doesn't mean that they will stop saying hurtful things about you, but it does mean that you don't have to see the posts and be reminded constantly that someone is saying hurtful things about you.
3. TALK to your parents, school counselor, and principal about what is going on. Don't shoulder the burden of being bullied and feeling like a "snitch" for talking about what is going on. You need to advocate for yourself.

While doing these things may be difficult, they are critical steps to ending cyberbullying. If you aren't committed to doing these three things, chances are that things will not improve for you. Additionally, if you can't/won't do these things, it is very difficult, and almost impossible, for your parents and school to help you out. Take control of the situation and advocate for yourself and others. Do not be a victim. You are a lot stronger than you think.

SCHOOLS
The school's role in stopping cyberbullying hinges on their ability to take a firm stance and not passing the buck. Cyberbullying does affect the educational environment regardless of whether it took place on or off school grounds. It is extremely important to have a process in place to deal with cyberbullying and it must be communicated with students and parents when the issue arises. My school has developed a document based upon the aforementioned STOP, BLOCK, and TALK principles. You can find the form HERE. Schools must partner with parents in supporting their child to ensure a safe learning environment. Have open and honest conversations with parents about the issue because this will more than likely lead to positive results.

Social media can be a tremendous communication tool if used correctly and appropriately. Although it seems like cyberbullying has been going on forever, it is, in reality, a relatively new phenomenon. We are all learning how to identify it and work through it. Schools must partner with parents in figuring this issue out and placing blame on one another is not going to solve the issue. Let's work together because our kids need us.