Grieving

This past week, a student of mine was laid to rest after taking her life. This is the third student of mine in less than a calendar year who has taken their life. Additionally, I have had a student who died in an unfortunate accident and a staff member who lost a long, hard battle with cancer. Five deaths in less than a year. Five lives lost way too early. Five funerals.

I've been asked multiple times this week how I am holding up and I am never sure how to answer that question. As a Principal, it is important to remain stoic in the face of difficult issues and provide support for students, staff, parents, and the community. The job calls for staying calm and making sure the appropriate resources and support systems are in place for people to grieve. It calls for maintaining your composure when people are angry and want to point fingers and cast blame. It requires being very selfless and putting the needs of others before your own. How am I doing? The answer is that I am not doing well. I am crushed in spirit. I am brokenhearted. A little piece of me dies each time these things happen and I reflect on what could have been done differently to avoid this outcome. I feel the pain and anger of others who struggle to find answers to why these things happen. I face the criticism from the outside that point fingers at the school. I am grieving like everyone else and searching for answers. It is at this time that I remember a quote that has been with me since a friend of mine died when I was in high school.

This week has been tough because it has brought back the memories from the past year. It is as if there is a dark cloud over our community that won't go away. I love my students like they were my own children and I am hurting for them. They are searching for answers, but I don't have them. My staff is feeling the weight as well and are doing their best to remain strong even though they are hurting as well. We are getting bombarded with questions from parents about how we are addressing bullying and harassment in an effort to find answers for why students choose suicide. People are angry, hurt, and tired and want the pain and death to stop. It is in these times that we need to come together as a community. As a school, we will get the resources and support systems in place to discuss the issues of suicide, bullying/harassment, and mental health. I will do everything in my power to make sure that we do our part to help find a solution. The question then becomes "What will YOU do?" As adults, we need to RISE up and accept the challenge to act differently and courageously show/demonstrate to our children that we love them and we don't want to lose any more of them. To do this, we ALL need to make some changes.

Schools are a microcosm of the community in which they reside. The issues of the community manifest themselves in the school. The two ARE NOT mutually exclusive. As adults, we need to make a change and come together to protect our children. We need to MODEL using kind words towards one another and work together to help our children navigate a childhood/adolescent experience that none of us could even fathom. We need to stop pointing fingers at one another and instead, draw closer to one another and work together. As my mother and father always said, "When you point a finger, understand that you have three others facing right back at you." Overall, we need to practice a pretty simple rule with one another.