A Time To RISE

I recently read an awesome blog by my good friend Danny Steele (@SteeleThoughts) called An Election -- Lessons for School Leaders...and for Other Humans. In it, he describes the need for empathy to help students through a difficult time, like the most recent election cycle. I contend that while the highly vitriolic election cycle has come and gone, schools are left picking up the pieces after rhetoric has been spread all over the place by both sides. This has been an especially hard election cycle because candidates on both sides of the aisle have said some pretty awful things about one another and the people that support the other side. Meanwhile, our kids have been watching all of this and it is now playing itself out like a bad reality television show in some of our schools.

We live in a divided country and schools are microcosms of the communities that we live in. It is imperative that as we move forward, and we will move forward, that we understand the importance of modeling to our children. We must understand that what we communicate to our children in our homes and in the communities comes in to our schools. As adults, we can help frame the narrative of our schools and the culture that exists in them.

The top priority of schools is the safety and security of its students. As parents, we trust that when we drop our children off at school, they are going to be cared for, fed, and that they are learning about the world around them. Some students receive this same type of environment at home, while others might see this happen only at school. In our schools, we have students who come from families with great wealth, students who live in poverty, students who are homeless, homosexual/transgender students, students of all faiths, students with disabilities, students of all races, students from broken homes, and a number of other students with various labels attached to them. THE BOTTOM LINE is that they are OUR students and they all deserve a learning environment that is safe and that cares for them no matter what baggage they bring to the table.

While it is outstanding that our young people are engaged in the political process and want to make our country a better place for all people, it is important to note that as adults (parents, educators, and community members) it is our obligation to model being respectful, intentional, supportive, and engaged (RISE) because our children are watching and will follow in our footsteps.

RESPECTFUL
We do not have to agree with one another, but we need to demonstrate civility towards one another be respectful of the differences that exist in our great country. I've written before that being respectful is not an if/then proposition. As a high school principal, I have heard too often from my students that "You have to give respect to get respect." This is a fallacy because you are either respectful or disrespectful. Like most people, I have disagreements with people occasionally, but I am respectful of them and don't resort to name calling or badmouthing them. It is important that I model this not only as a principal, but also as a father. I want my children to know that you can disagree vehemently with someone, but still love/respect them as a person.

INTENTIONAL (PURPOSEFUL)
When we speak as adults, we need to model being intentional/purposeful with our words. When we are purposeful with our words, we are defining what our intended outcomes will be. Are we trying to be supportive or are we trying to incite. Understanding that how someone perceives your words/actions is just as important as you sharing your voice/actions. We have all been given the great gift of a brain, so thinking through the intent/purpose of our statements before making them will go a long way in modeling to our children the power of being intentional.

SUPPORTIVE
We can be supportive of one another without condoning that person's actions. This was definitely apparent in our recent election cycle. The reality of the situation is that we all have done things that we have regretted, but we count on the support of our colleagues, friends, and loved ones to support us through the good and bad times. As a parent, I will support and advocate for my own children because I love them unconditionally. When they make poor choices (and they do make poor choices...sometimes), I am not going to blame others (friends, parents, administrators, etc.) that may have contributed to the situation, but rather, I am going to hold my children accountable for their part in the action. As a principal, I operate in much the same way. I love ALL of my students and will support them to achieve the loftiest goals. When they make poor decisions, I will be respectful, intentional, supportive, and engaged with them and their parents to make sure that they learn from their mistakes. As parents, it is our obligation to model this at home.

ENGAGED
We need to be present in the lives of our children. They need us now more than ever. They are growing up in a world that is very diverse and tremendously different from the time that we grew up in. We cannot sit idly by and expect our children to fend for themselves. That is negligent and unacceptable behavior for any adult who has the awesome responsibility of raising children. We need to take the time to listen and seek to understand what they are going through rather than telling them to suck it up and move on. This not pandering them or making them weak. Instead, it is validating that they are human beings with thoughts and emotions that are important and that they are worthy of being heard. 

Overall, I IMPLORE parents to model RISE in their homes so their children can, in turn, model it at school. We need to be the best version of ourselves in front of our children so they can see that even in times of great hardship, we are decent people who truly care about others in our community regardless of our differences. If we truly want to make America great again, we need to begin with these values in the home and at school.